Celebrity Roast: Man of the Hour: The Devil.

Good day, y'all.
This your Roastmaster, and you may call Me God.
WE are gathered here tonight, to pay Our Respect - and harmful contributions - to the Man of The Hour.

   You all might know him; he is known as The Dark Prince, The Fallen Angel, His Unholyness, King of Pain, Master of Panic, Sender of Plagues (God: "I thought, that was Me", laughs from the audience), and Mayhem to All (God: "Again, that was Me", more laughs from the audience)...

   So without any further adue: I give you, The Devil.

   Look at you, you old ugly fart, with your hornes and hooves and all...
You look to ME like a goat, but then the degenerated male version of it...
Is that really a tail, you are wearing, or is it your dick?
Oh no, I see: your dick is on the other end; Gee, it's small...
Can you pee with that?

(God giggles, and takes the cheers and ovations from the audience)

   And let's take a look at our Deus Ex Machina, tonight.
I see MY pathetic Son; Geezus, you look like shit...
Is it that far, after Easter already? Where are Your Eggs?
You hid them in The Garden of Getshemane? Are You Nuts?
It is time you came home, your Mother is asking about you.
And see a doctor, you have holes in your hands, your feet, and where not?
Put away that crown of thornes, you will scare the shit out of your Mother.
Better luck, next Christmas...

   Next to him, WE see Judas.
Don't you laugh, you old pesky loan-shark...
Did you do any dark deals, lately? You son of a Jew?
When I asked you to help MY Son out, I did not mean to really kill him, you idiot.
Do you know, what it took ME to conceive and raise him?
But you are punished enough, like all the Jews...

   Then there WE have the Pope, MY so-called replacement on MY Earth. (audience: "Whooo")
Hi, you fossil, you dirty mean pederast.
How is MY Holy Church doing; not too good I Hear...
I always said: they are MY Children, not yours...
Only I may Abuse them...

   Next to the Pope, we see Dalai Lama, Krsna, Hitler, Stalin, Saddam Hoessein, Reagan, and Osama Bin Laden...
What a nice Bunch of losers, WE have here tonight...
I See spouse, terrorists, presidents, dictators, and so called Holynesses...
What Was I Thinking, when I Created All This?


(God Drops a Meaningful Silence, and takes the cheers and standing ovations from the audience)

   But now, let us turn to the man of the hour...
Devil, what were you thinking, when you defied MY Power...

(The Devil drops a meaningful silence, while the audience goes 'Whoooooeee')

   The Devil wags his arrowed tail, and wields his pitchfork...
The whole scene goes up in flames; including audience, stage, participants, and this whole story...

He says: "Well, this was a succesful roast. Hey God, were's the BBQ?"