Poor men's pleasures...

Not having the luck, of being from the richer part of society, nor having the wits - 'though the looks - of having stumbled across a rich woman, I always like the little cheap pleasures.

I like sitting in a library, for a whole afternoon, bringing a couple of cheap beers along, reading comic books. I usually prefer the ones with Blueberry, Storm, and a couple of Franquin's, Hergé's, plus Agent 327. A bit of reading, wondering, and drinking usually takes all afternoon. Every once in a while, I grab a free cup of coffee, to save on beers. To have some variation, I can read all the - free! - newspapers, most of my popular magazines - all up to date! - and even an occasional Real Book from Roald Dahl, or Marten Toonder. And who say's, you cannot drink beer in a libary?

I also like to roam around supermarkets, and go after the free snacks. Usually, one gets to taste some of the tapas, or whatever you have in the fresh department - cheese, saucage, salami, ansjovis - before you decide what to buy. But who says, you have to buy anything? By the time I am spotted, I have my fill. One hint: do not visit the same place more then once a week; what goes around, comes around...

One of my favourites has to be public transportation facilities; travelling without a ticket, to be more precise. Nowadays it gets harder and harder to pull it off, and the fines are getting steeper and steeper. Luckily, nowadays you hardly ever bump into any control whatsoever. If you do, flash any card, fake an address, and walk by; you are hardly ever noticed, and they will travel anyway... Good trick: try to pay the fair with a bill of fifty; chances are, the driver or controller doesn't have the change, and has to let you travel for free... Public services have the obligation to serve you...

Which brings me to several forms of money changing tricks. My favourite is this one. Given the fact, that some bills are frequently used, most employees at a telling machine create habits. Habits of changing money. It goes like: "You have to pay 14,95; you pay with a certain bill - more than the asked amount - and I return you your change". Certainly on a busy day - let's say Saturday - they turn into machines who stop thinking, and even counting. So here's what you do. You pay any given amount - what you shopped, small figures work best - with a larger bill. Let us say, you pay 4,95 with a bill of twenty. In most cases, you'll get 15,05 in return; in some cases even just 5,05 - very Freudian for a teller, but it can happen. This is when you strike best: "Sorry, I gave you fifty?"... In the cases, that they already lost track of what you actually paid, it is always worth a try. As I said: pick busy days...

Although it seems, we are already dwelling in criminal activities, this is not the case. As long as you do not actually take away any stuff - what most men would call stealing - you keep on the safe side. Also, do not extend your activities to flat gambling; you cannot win a fortune, with just a dime... Also, do not get caught red-handed, and if you are, play dumb... The police is always dumber...

Today, I had a great morning hunt...

I went to the supermarket, in the opposite direction of allowed traffic (fine: 40 units), crossed 2 red lights (fine: 80 units), took a piss in a public area (fine:  90 units), did my shopping (7 units, paid with 10, 13 change), got back home in one piece (ignoring several signs of authority, including a traffic-manager), and sat down to write this piece...

Lots of cheap fun, did shopping, earned money, fucked authority... I am having a great day...