How will the afterlife look like?

According to most religions, beliefs, and what have you, there is something after all this.
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As if, life on earth isn't more then enough for most people, we are expected - after we rightfully die - to complete yet another tour. There are religious tendencies that claim, this goes on and on for ever. Like there is no tomorrow. And no sorrow. You constantly change bodies, genders, and even species. It is called re-incarnation. Literally: becoming of flesh, again, and again, and again. To me, it sounds like a bad horror movie. As if there were good ones...
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Some religions claim, this afterlife is spent - for the rest of your death - in some here-after. This concept usually consists of two different places; one for the good, and one for the badly perished ones. The first is usually reffered to as Heaven, Nirvana, etc., the latter usually as Hell, Sodom and Gommorrah, Hades, Underworld, etc. What strikes us, is the fact that there are more places for bad dead people, then otherwise. Which is strictly logical, because there aren't that many good dead people. They get to re-incarnate.
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What is interesting, is the fact that these concepts are also usefull, before you actually die. There might well be something like Heaven on Earth, and many people claim - even outside any religion - Hell on Earth exists. That is why some religions claim, that you will return to Life on Earth, after you finally die; like it were some kind of reward, or even punishment.
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At this point someone might wonder, who decides which dead person goes where. Most religions have some form, of some concept, in some shape, of a Higher Force. Some call it - or him/her - God, some Allah, some call him Krsna, Buddha, or even Ra. Some religions even introduce a Bad Guy, usually reffered to as The Devil, the Fallen Angel, Anubis, the Dark Prince, Loki, etc. Here, we see the same phenomenon: we have more names for this Bad Dude, then we have for the Good Dude. That also is strictly logical, because there were more bad places to run, in the first place. See above...
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All in short: there are more bad people, then there are good ones, and after they die, they have to go some place. We have a set of rulers, that decide on this. Each dead person goes to his rightious place, sent there by his own belief, his own superstition, and his own God. And this goes on and on forever...
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Having concluded all that, we are left with the One Big Question: How will it look like, after I die? How will I meet my Maker? Will I meet him? And what is next?
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For people that are not prone to any of the before mentioned beliefs, Life is simple. After this, there is nothing; we rest in peace, are eaten by worms, and become part of this whole system again. This is some form of the before mentioned re-incarnation. Your dead body is devoured, by creepy crawlers; luckily, you are not there to witness it. It is gross, it is smelly, and that is why they put 6 feet of soil above you. You can also be burned, and put in a bottle. In that form, we can be put on the mantelpiece, to watch over our spouse; or we can be spread with the wind. Highly in-effective, I would say.
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For the people that do believe, in a here-after, death is more complicated. And so are their lives. First they have to choose, were they want to go to, after they die. The reason for this is simple: on this decision, they have to commit their lives. If you live Good, you go to Heaven; if you live Bad, otherwise. They say Heaven is a nice place, but boring; they say Hell is Hell, but adventurous. How to decide?
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I like the Jewish tradition. All Jews go to Heaven, and meet with Saint Peter; the Bad Lieutenant, as we all know. Have you been a good Jew, then you will be rewarded, bad Jews are punished. But all in Heaven. Given this concept - there is only Heaven - subsequently all dead people go there (Jews, that is; the rest goes elsewhere; where, nobody knows). Your loved ones - no matter how bad they were - but also your wife, your ex-wives, that nasty boss, and that gorgeous girl you never had...
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Completely along the lines of Jewish Humor, this raises many possibilities:
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Samuel and Mozes have both died, in a stupid car-accident, let us not dwell on that.
They arrive at the gates of Heaven, both pretty relieved.
Mozes finally got rid of his nagging wife Sarah, Samuel - the impotent bachelor - can't wait to receive his rightfull share of virgins (or is that another religion? whatever), and be reunited with his libido. All good things wait for you in Heaven.
So while they both are waiting for things to come, they stand in front of Saint Peter.
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"Mozes", Saint Peter spoke. "You have been a bad person, but you were a good Jew. I will reward you for that. You may spend your time in Heaven with your beloved wife Sarah. Whom you ran over in that car-accident. Now, go in peace, the both of you. And do not multiply."
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(While Mozes and Sarah wander away in a big loud argument, Samuel is laughing his head off...)
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"Samuel", Saint Peter thunders. "Not only have you been a bad person, but also a bad Jew. Pig is not koosher, even when you dress it up like fish. You will be punished for that. You may spend your time in Heaven with Pamela Anderson, who just died from being beaten up by Tommy Lee, for claiming to have a Jewish mother. You will remain impotent. Now go, you perverts."
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(From a distance, but within hearing range, Mozes yells out: "But why is he getting...")
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"Silence, Mozes", Saint Peter thunders even louder. "This woman has to be punished."
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